Top 10: Half Marathon Revelations

Yo Quiero Taco Bell.
Kenosha, WI. 2020.

Quarantine has taken a lot from me.

A girls trip to Las Vegas, hot yoga classes, dance lessons, tattoo appointments, & coveted farmer’s markets: gone in an instant. Work travel to both coasts, inspired weekends in Chicago, & my favorite frozen margaritas: ghosted quicker than a f*ckboi. Thanks a lot Bin Laden (hopefully you’ve seen The Hangover!).

But, my third half marathon being canceled? Too damn far. Even though my training program fell off somewhere along the way, I chose to hold steady to the May 2nd completion date.

As I knew the experience would be quite humbling, I decided to keep record of my stream of consciousness throughout the whole ordeal.

Continue reading for my Top 10: Half Marathon Revelations (in chronological order):

  1. I am fit, fierce, & fabulous. I am the epitome of health & wellness. I am bare-faced, hydrated, & one with Mother Nature. Let’s gooo!
  2. F*ck. I left my fanny pack at home. I now resent the very existence of my car keys, phone, & water bottle. I can’t do this.
  3. Where will I go for a cheat meal after this? Correction: what will I order from Taco Bell when I get there?
  4. Am I sweating in a cute-girl-at-the-gym way? Or in a Miss Trunchbull way? I’ve lapped Spider-man twice now and I’m curious what the vibe is.
  5. Oh yeah, no bathrooms on this trail. Must remember to ration my water wisely (and try to forget my underwear is riding up so high I can taste it). F*ck.
  6. Man, early 2000s hip-hop was legit. “Checkin’ your reflection and tellin’ your best friend, like, ‘girl, I think my butt gettin’ big!'” OH!
  7. If 13.1 minus 8 equals 5.1; & I have 5 miles left, why do I feel like this should be over by now? Since when did miles get so long? There has to be something wrong with my GPS.
  8. How much energy should I be saving to sprint away from would-be rapists & murderers hiding on this trail? I should slow down.
  9. People really do full marathons, then? Do they know they can just do half?
  10. Real talk: how come those with the most to hide are the ones that so proudly cause other people pain? Why do they play so superior? Reality is not theirs to manipulate. They’re not fooling anyone. Cue Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around… Comes Back Around”. Thanks, post-run clarity.

Melodrama aside, quarantine hasn’t taken everything from me.

I still have my health, my family, my job, & (some of) my hobbies. I count myself extremely fortunate in all of those regards. I’ve challenged myself to share this wealth as best I can, recently focusing on Feeding America.

I raise awareness and sponsored funds by using Charity Miles to log my daily runs. I’ve also submitted weekly donations through the Feeding America website. If you have the means, I encourage you to do the same. Demand is high, and we must support our fellow Americans in their time of need. No one should have to worry where their next meal is coming from.

I’m also very fortunate to be able to stay committed to my overall wellness. In addition to regular exercise, I’ve aimed to improve my regular eating and sleeping habits. I’ve kept a firm grip on my usual anxiety, disabling it from running rampant on all things COVID-crazy. I’ve increased therapy appointments from monthly to biweekly sessions.

And, I’m most proud to say that I’ve began to lend myself some long over-due credit. I have a renewed confidence in many things. I recognize and appreciate the power wielded by my body, my mind, & my heart. I am genuinely proud of the way I treat others. No matter how dark and dismissive the world can be, I’ve continued to to stay warm and forgiving. PLUS – the girl can sure redecorate an apartment!

Here’s to you: doing your thing as best you can. Don’t lose sight of your confidence, power, or purpose. We need you here. Today, tomorrow, & the next day.

P.S. Here’s a playlist curated for hours-long runs. Pro tip: put it on shuffle.


The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson.