She’s All That: A True Story

Isabel. Kenosha, WI. 2019.

You know that feeling you get when you meet someone that seems too good to be true? When they’re wicked smart, naturally stunning, undeniably funny, and morally sound? How their mere presence feels like you finally secured that rare white elephant gift you’d been eyeing all night?

Meet Isabel. She’s Mary f*cking Poppins. An impossible blend of Jessica Rabbit, Maya Rudolph, Angelina Jolie, and Rachael Ray. She’s gorgeous, hilarious, daring, and an absolute tomcat in the kitchen.

Just as you’d expect, Isabel has lived many lives. From growing up in California, regularly vacationing in Mexico, serving in the Army in Iraq, girl-bossing in an office setting, jet-setting all across the globe, to skydiving in the Midwest… one thing has remained constant. This woman is all about her family.

Whether it’s concerning her incredibly large blood family, her (possibly larger) skydiving community, or her very own husband and step-daughter: you do not want to cross her. This lady is fiercely loyal to those that she loves. Her moral compass is Kat Von D, prestige grade foundation. Not. Going. Anywhere. Even if there’s a fire.*

Isabel speaks to nearly everyone’s most critical love language: Feelings of Hunger. As a devout vegan, she’s always seeking out a new challenge to keep her husband and her daughter healthy & satisfied. Whether she’s crafting authentic tortas, homemade nachos, or next-level spring rolls… she slam dunks on the rest of us 24/7.

Rounding out five years of marriage, Isabel and Brian have solidified an extraordinary commitment to eachother. Since meeting on active-duty, they’ve navigated many of life’s hurdles side by side. As one of the most elevated, self-aware, and understanding women dedicated to self-improvement; Isabel leads by example, encouraging those around her to do better and be better.

“Couples have to share common goals. Otherwise, it’s easy to lose focus”.

Isabel. 2019.

She also insists it is essential to work to accept people as they are. She explains that everyone is happiest in their most authentic form. And so, she simply aims to embrace meaningful differences in behavior, style, and approach.

If that sounds rather simple in practice, consider the fact that Brian just returned from a hella-skiing-parachuting trip in France; only to chop his glorious locks into a mullet, and finish it off with some custom lightning bolts etched into the sides. No, it didn’t just “grow in all white trash like that”. He did all of those things on purpose.

They skydive together by day, and belly-laugh by night. Isabel has an affinity for all things comedy. From underground improv, to big ticket stand-up greats… she’s always game. There is no doubt in my mind that Gaffigan, Mulaney, or Schumer would be able to pick her signature laugh out of a line-up. It is so incredibly rewarding.

However, she’s not one for gratuitous humor. She’s more likely to smirk at the subtle awkwardness of any social interaction, slap on a ‘no-pun-intended’ suffix, or burst out laughing at her internal reel of salacious material.

Isabel has shuffled an array of influences to help shape her into the fascinating woman she is today. She credits her rule-breaking, American pop-music-appreciating, confident aunt; her resilient, forgiving, adventurous father; and her eager, fearless, forthright husband for inspiring her to honor her most authentic self.

And, sometimes, her truest self wants to indulge in reality TV. Whether she’s particularly interested in unveiling the results of a paternity test, following the OG Teen Moms, or tracking the progress of those Seeking Sister Wive(s), is just a matter of the day of the week. And frankly, this is the only reason we can trust her. Ya gotta have at least one vice, or ya can’t sit with us.


“What people think about me is none of my business.”

Isabel, 2019. Wisdom none of us were ready for.

The cozy cafe details:

  • Favorite beverage: Ginseng Tea, served fresh in Vietnam.
  • Favorite cocktail: Mexican Mule (silver tequila, duh!).
  • Featured:
    • Fresh Lemonade.
    • Vegan Siesta Wrap.
    • Potato Chips (Vice #2).

*Referencing Step Brothers here. You’re going to have to get used to that. Although, I’m sure Kat Von D’s cosmetic line is fire-rated, too. #Kinky.